Stop Running: A Counselor's Take on Avoidance Coping and How to Overcome It

Avoidance coping can sneak up on us when we're trying to keep everything looking fine on the surface. This common psychological strategy may feel like a cozy blanket, offering momentary comfort, but it often stops us from dealing with our real issues. Understanding avoidance coping—how it shows up in our lives and how to overcome it—is crucial for building emotional resilience. In this post, we will explore the various forms of avoidance coping, learn insights from a counselor's perspective, and most importantly, discover practical steps to stop running from our problems.

What is Avoidance Coping?

Avoidance coping encompasses behaviors and thought patterns that allow individuals to dodge discomfort and stress. When confronted with challenging emotional situations—such as stress, anxiety, or grief—this approach may offer quick relief. However, the toll it takes in the long run outweighs any short-term benefits.

This coping mechanism can show up in many ways. For example, studies indicate that nearly 20% of adults engage in procrastination regularly. Other manifestations include substance abuse, denial, and self-destructive behaviors. By choosing to avoid our problems, we often let them grow larger and more complex, leading to even bigger issues later on.

Forms of Avoidance Coping

Understanding the various ways avoidance coping can surface helps us identify our own behavior patterns. Here are some frequent examples:

1. Procrastination

Many people have experienced putting off tasks that cause anxiety. For instance, avoiding a crucial work deadline can lead to last-minute scrambling. Research shows that up to 25% of students are chronic procrastinators, and this behavior can extend into adulthood as well.

2. Substance Abuse

When life pressures build up, some turn to alcohol, drugs, or other substances as an escape. While this might provide temporary relief, it generally leads to deeper issues. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, approximately 21% of individuals with a substance use disorder also experience mental health issues, often exacerbated by avoidance.

3. Denial

Denial can be a powerful form of avoidance coping. For example, someone diagnosed with a health issue may insist they are perfectly fine, even in the face of evidence that suggests otherwise. This refusal to acknowledge reality prevents them from seeking the help they need.

4. Distraction

In today's world, distractions abound—whether it be binge-watching shows or endlessly scrolling through social media. While these activities can provide relief, they often mask our underlying problems. Consider this: the average person spends about 2 hours and 31 minutes on social media daily, a significant amount of time that could be spent confronting our feelings.

5. Perfectionism

Perfectionism can act as a shield against deeper issues. By focusing on minor details and setting excessively high standards, we divert our attention from discussing fears and insecurities. This can lead, ironically, to feelings of inadequacy and failure.

6. Avoiding Conflict

Many people go to great lengths to sidestep confrontation, often believing that avoiding difficult conversations maintains peace. Unfortunately, this can lead to built-up resentment and larger issues over time.

Why Do We Avoid?

Why do we resort to avoidance coping in the first place?

Fear of Failure

One significant reason we avoid confronting our problems is the fear of failure. We worry about how our choices might be perceived or the potential consequences for our lives.

Desire for Comfort

During stressful periods, we often seek comfort. Avoidance coping can serve as a brief escape from our worries, providing immediate but fleeting relief.

Lack of Skills

Sometimes, we simply lack the coping skills necessary to effectively handle stress or anxiety. Feeling overwhelmed often makes avoidance seem like an easier route than facing our challenges.

Recognizing Your Triggers

Before tackling avoidance coping, recognizing your triggers is essential. Self-awareness is key to breaking the cycle.

Journal Your Thoughts

Writing down your feelings can lead to surprising insights. Journaling not only clarifies your thoughts but also helps identify recurring avoidance patterns.

Reflect on Your Habits

Pay attention to activities you gravitate towards during stressful times. Do you tend to binge-watch shows or spend extra time on non-essential tasks when faced with anxiety? Recognizing these tendencies is a crucial first step towards making changes.

Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, professional help is required. Trained counselors can offer tailored insights and coping strategies, guiding you in facing rather than escaping your challenges.

A peaceful walk in nature can help clear your mind.

Strategies to Overcome Avoidance Coping

Understanding avoidance coping is just the beginning. Let’s look at actionable strategies to counteract it.

1. Face Your Fears

Instead of running away from your stressors, confront them directly. Break problems into smaller, manageable tasks, and tackle each one step by step.

2. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing, can help ground you in the present. They provide a way to recognize your feelings without being overwhelmed by them.

3. Set Realistic Goals

Create achievable goals to lessen feelings of overwhelm. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This builds confidence in your ability to confront challenges.

4. Connect with Supportive Friends

Sharing your struggles with friends or family can lessen feelings of isolation. Their support may provide valuable perspective as you face your fears.

5. Build Emotion Regulation Skills

Learning to identify and manage your emotions can empower you to handle stress in healthier ways. Techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help reframe negative thoughts.

6. Engage in Healthy Activities

Incorporating physical activity into your routine can elevate mood and reduce stress. Find enjoyable activities, be it hiking, dancing, or yoga, to elevate your mental well-being.

Embracing Change

Avoidance coping may feel like an easy escape, but it often leads to bigger challenges later. By recognizing its forms, understanding the reasons behind it, and embracing practical steps toward facing our fears, we can build resilience and foster emotional growth.

Next time you feel the urge to run—whether from stress, conflict, or uncomfortable emotions—consider the alternatives. Embrace the challenge and dive into your fears rather than stepping back. Facing our challenges can lead to a fuller, more rewarding life.

Take that first step today, and remember: you are not alone. Support is available, and every effort you make toward confronting your fears is a stride toward a healthier you.