As a gay therapist and evidential psychic medium, I have experienced some fascinating events throughout the course of my lifetime. Many of you already know about parts of my personal journey, but permit me to begin by saying that I would have never dreamt as a child that I would have ended up in either profession. I joke with my mediumship clients that it wasn't as though I sat around as a young boy, thinking to myself, "You know, I just really want to spend my days, talking to dead people!" Nor did I sit around as a child, thinking I would ever be able to help others to find their own personal strength and resilience in therapy sessions.
Candidly, many aspects of my own childhood seemed to me chaotic, dysfunctional and erratic. I regularly experienced physical violence and verbal aggression. As most children tend to do, I personalized these events: "If these things are happening to me, it must be because I'm a bad person or not good enough." I likewise was raised in a spiritual belief system, which often reinforced this notion that I was "bad" or "not good enough" and "needed to be saved." I attended church regularly, strived each day to be "good enough" in my Creator's eyes, and engaged in self-flagellation when I perceived that being "good enough" was never going to come to pass.
I remember when I began to realize that I was gay at around age twelve: this was yet another piece of evidence that I did not measure up--that I was somehow fundamentally defective. In addition to that, I had already experienced many years of bullying by peers because I was a stutterer--still, further "proof" that I was not enough. I made the difficult decision to come out to my family at the age of sixteen, and it did not go over well. It took many years for my family to begin to understand that being gay was not a choice I made but rather something, over which I had no control. I remember my father having taken me to a Baptist church, where the pastor attempted to convince me of my inherent defectiveness and that I would be subjected to eternal torment and damnation if I did not somehow manage to "choose" to be straight--and therefore "good enough." I had many family friends, who likewise turned their backs upon me because of my sexual orientation.
I remember when I first began to discover my own abilities as a psychic medium--when I began to experience the many psychic visions, prophetic dreams, and spirits I encountered. Was this even further proof of my personal failure to be good enough? I denied this aspect of myself for as long as I could--fearing disapproval by others, rejection and the like. When I left home for college, I began denying myself by any means possible--alcohol intoxication, drug use and even having relied upon a series of romantic relationships to somehow cover up the personal pain and insecurity I felt. One night, my drug dealer left me alone in a vacant parking lot when I had been using methamphetamine, cocaine, marijuana and LSD over the course of several days. I suddenly felt my chest being crushed from the inside out, called 911 in a panic, and repeatedly kept begging God to not yet take my life from me--to at least permit me to live long enough to be able to witness my younger brothers grow up. My prayer was heard; I've no doubt of that. Rather than merely permit me to witness my brothers growing up, I was further guided to undertake my own personal therapy and to use my own personal journey as a basis for helping others to navigate theirs.
I learned my self-worth, realized my own personal strength and resilience, and now as a gay therapist teach clients to not tolerate any bullshit from others and to confidently and assertively communicate and enforce their own boundaries. I realize as an evidential psychic medium that the very ability I'd had since childhood to communicate with spirits of the deceased was not a curse, as the church for so long had insisted, but rather was proof that there is a lifetime beyond this physical one.
I used to feel sorrow, despair and hopeless about the cards, which I had been dealt by fate. I now feel only gratitude. In having endured my own struggles, I learned personal strength and resolve. Never permit anyone or anything in this lifetime to convince you that you are somehow "less than", "unlovable", or "not good enough." I am witness to the fact that I--like each and every one of you--inherently possess worth: each of us is a piece of the Universal Consciousness--what I used to refer to as "God."
If you are seeking a gay therapist or evidential psychic medium, I would be thrilled to hear from you. Feel free to visit me online. I also have a list of recommended reading titles on counseling and mediumship-related topics, which you may find beneficial.
Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you. Blessings to you.
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